Grin

St. Augustine, FL – In a shocking turn of events, Mark Johnson, Assistant State Attorney with a stellar track record of over two decades, is reportedly relying on a vintage Magic 8-Ball to guide him through the perplexing case against Virgilio Mendes. Despite overwhelming evidence of Mendes’ innocence, Johnson remains committed to the trial, leaving many wondering if he’s swapped his law books for a mystical crystal ball.

The Grin Daily’s investigative team obtained exclusive access to Johnson’s legal strategy, revealing that the assistant attorney consults the enigmatic orb before making any significant decision. Sources close to the case claim Johnson vigorously shakes the 8-Ball, asking questions like, “Should I drop the charges against Mendes?” or “Is my legal career in shambles?” Unsurprisingly, the responses have been as unpredictable as Johnson’s legal tactics.

The court transcript reads like a surrealist play, with Johnson seemingly channelling Shakespearean drama as he engages in cryptic conversations with the Magic 8-Ball during hearings. “To be just or not to be just, that is the question,” he mumbled theatrically, shaking the translucent oracle with Shakespearean flair.

Critics argue that Johnson’s use of the Magic 8-Ball may explain the perplexing decisions made during Mendes’ arrest, which involved enough drama to rival a daytime soap opera. The Grin Daily reached out to Johnson for comment, but he responded with a cryptic message, saying, “Cannot predict now.”

Legal experts and concerned citizens alike are scratching their heads, questioning whether Johnson’s extensive litigation experience has taken an otherworldly turn. Some speculate that the Magic 8-Ball may have superseded the need for body cam footage and coroner’s reports, leading to a legal drama of cosmic proportions.

As Mendes languishes in custody, the public eagerly awaits the next shake of the Magic 8-Ball and wonders if justice will be served with a side of divination.