Serious news, unseriously delivered.
NORTHERN CAPE – Residents of Kimberley have had enough. The city’s escalating water crisis has pushed them past blaming ghosts and gremlins, and onto a theory that exposes the true villains: their own elected councillors. Locals suspect these bumbling officials, with their ample waistlines and vacant stares, are secretly the Teletubby overlords behind the water […]
Okaloosa County, FL – In a scene ripped straight from a rejected Police Academy sequel, a Florida sheriff’s deputy mistook a falling acorn for “silenced” gunfire, unleashing a barrage of bullets on an unsuspecting…well, suspecting nothing, because it was a handcuffed man in a patrol car. The deputy, since identified as former (and hopefully forever-former) […]
In a bold move to showcase their inclusivity, the ANC vows to campaign in every nook and cranny, even those with crannies built exclusively for one ethnic group. In a stunning display of political bravado, ANC provincial chair Panyaza Lesufi declared an all-out campaign war, promising to plaster ANC posters in Orania, a town so […]
KIMBERLEY – In a whimsical twist, the Democratic Alliance (DA) in the Northern Cape has decided to take a page from the Teletubbies’ playbook, donning their party colour blue for a march to address the ongoing water crisis in Kimberley. When all else fails, why not let politicians embrace their inner tubby custard lovers? Scheduled […]
In a stunning display of brevity that left even the most concise wordsmiths in awe, the Democratic Alliance (DA) bid farewell to former Member of the Western Cape Provincial Parliament, Dan Plato. In a carefully crafted trilogy of sentences, the DA managed to encapsulate the entirety of Plato’s political legacy, leaving citizens wondering if verbosity […]