Destin, FL – In a medical blunder that would make even the most seasoned ER doctor cringe, a Florida surgeon has been accused of accidentally removing a patient’s liver during a splenectomy procedure. Dr. Thomas Shaknovsky, the surgeon in question, reportedly mistook the patient’s liver for a “super-sized spleen” that had somehow migrated to the wrong side of his body.
“I mean, who hasn’t accidentally removed the wrong organ?” Dr. Shaknovsky quipped in a statement released through his lawyer. “It’s like trying to find your keys in a bottomless bag of cat toys. Sometimes, things just get a little mixed up.”
The patient, William “Bill” Bryan, 70, tragically died as a result of the botched surgery. His family is now seeking justice and has filed a lawsuit against Dr. Shaknovsky and the hospital where the procedure took place.
“It’s a real shame,” said Beverly Bryan, Bill’s widow. “I just wish he had asked me to double-check his work before he started cutting. I mean, I’m no surgeon, but I know a liver when I see one.”
The incident has raised serious questions about the quality of medical care in Florida. Many are calling for stricter regulations and more oversight of surgeons to prevent such tragic mistakes from happening in the future.
Dr. Shaknovsky, meanwhile, is reportedly already looking for a new job. He has expressed interest in a position as a magician’s assistant, citing his ability to make things disappear.
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