RICHARDS BAY –
In a surprising turn of events, President Cyril Ramaphosa has declared a bold solution to the truck jam crisis on the N2 highway to Richards Bay—turning it into a national holiday named “Traffic Tuesday.” The announcement comes after the president’s visit to the Richards Bay port, where the truck traffic chaos has reached monumental proportions.
Flanked by Minister Pravin Gordhan and Premier Nomusa Dube-Ncube, Ramaphosa addressed the media with an air of determination. “We’ve decided to embrace the chaos and turn lemons into lemonade, or in this case, turn trucks into tinsel. Traffic Tuesday will be the nation’s newest tradition, where we celebrate the art of standing still on our highways,” he declared, a twinkle in his eye.
The president, known for his strategic thinking, outlined the plan for the holiday. “On Traffic Tuesday, all citizens are encouraged to bring a snack, a good book, and maybe a board game as they join the festivities on our nation’s highways. It’s like a picnic but with more honking and fewer ants.”
Ramaphosa, showcasing his newfound humour, quipped, “We’re taking a page out of the international playbook. Italy has Ferragosto; we have Traffic Tuesday. Who needs fast lanes when you can have fun lanes?”
Concerns were raised about the economic impact of such a holiday, to which the president responded, “Economic impact? We’re creating jobs for tow truck drivers, and our nation’s vendors will have the chance to sell snacks to stranded motorists. It’s a win-win!”
Minister Pravin Gordhan assured the public that the government was actively working on the logistics of Traffic Tuesday. “We’re considering live entertainment, maybe a parade of stationary trucks with their hazard lights blinking rhythmically. It’s a spectacle the whole family can enjoy,” he chuckled.
Premier Nomusa Dube-Ncube added, “South Africa has a rich tapestry of traditions, and Traffic Tuesday is the newest thread in that tapestry. We’re confident that it will bring us together as a nation, even if it’s just bumper to bumper.”
As the nation prepares for the inaugural Traffic Tuesday, one thing is certain—South Africa is once again proving its resilience and ability to find humour in the face of adversity. After all, why stress about a truck jam when you can celebrate it? Mark your calendars, fellow citizens, Traffic Tuesday is about to become the highlight of our gridlocked lives!
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