Grin

KIMBERLEY – In a plot twist more twisted than a contortionist on a rollercoaster, the De Beers group generously donates the iconic HOH building to Sol Plaatje University, leaving Kimberley residents pondering a wetter issue—the city’s water crisis.

While Zamani Saul, the premier of the Northern Cape, flaunts keys at an official ceremony, Kimberley residents are staging their own key-passing ceremony—demanding the address of Mayor Kagisho Sonyoni as they plan to freshen up in his JoJo tank. Rumour has it, Saul, the Houdini of politics, is tucked away on the 7th floor in an old De Beers safe, contemplating a move to Cape Town after discovering forgotten diamonds.

While a stinky sweaty mob, not by choice, irate over a water shortage, is on a wild goose chase, searching for Saul. “Where is the premier?” they bellow. Little do they know; he’s living the high life somewhere in the heavily secured and fortified HOH building, safe from the scent of discontent.

The Oppenheimers, once caretakers of the building nobody wanted, are dancing a jig. They’ve passed the torch to the local government, which now must grapple with the cost of its upkeep. Residents, soon to pawn organs to afford shanty rates and taxes to foot the bill, await their fate.

Meanwhile, an astute resident uncovers the real possible cause—water-shedding! While DA councillors, the only officials of the Sol Plaatje Municipality who look busy during a municipal crisis, blissfully unaware, copy-paste borderline misleading municipal media statements verbatim to keep its constituents angry at the ruling government. Turning residents’ daily lives into a political narrative of a circus and a madhouse in a political tug of war, stoking fires blaming gardeners and car washers for the aquatic conundrum of the municipality’s over-achievement in maladministration, mismanagement and laziness. The city is divided—some swim in water, others in discontent.

In a twist of irony, a concerned resident alleges water discrimination, exposing the harsh reality—some parts drown in dust while others sip peacefully on their late afternoon water Martinis. The suspicion of water manipulation swirls like a cyclone in a cup, demanding transparency and accountability.

Kimberley residents, armed with empty buckets and righteous anger, face a choice: waterlogged inequality or a quest for answers. The city awaits its H2O hero to emerge from the mist of bureaucracy, cape fluttering, ready to quench the thirst for justice.

Read more on The Kimberley Prospector.