Ian Cameron, the man who courageously blamed the police for all of South Africa’s problems, has taken a bold new step in his career. He’s swapped his comfy soapbox for a slightly less comfy seat in Parliament as a member of… well, who cares which party? They’re all basically the same.
In a move that shocked no one familiar with the blame-the-other-guy game, Cameron has decided that the real culprits behind South Africa’s rampant crime weren’t those pesky criminals or the police who weren’t doing enough to stop them. It was, of course, the politicians!
“I’ve spent years yelling at the police,” Cameron explained in a refreshingly honest press release, “But it turns out there are people above them screwing everything up too. Who knew?”
Political insiders, who requested anonymity to avoid being the focus of Cameron’s next Twitter rant, expressed concerns about his smooth transition into their ranks. “We’re used to deflecting blame, not actually taking it,” one worried politician mumbled. “What if he expects us to, like, do things?”
Cameron’s supporters are, unsurprisingly, thrilled with this development. “Finally!” exclaimed one overly enthusiastic Twitter follower. “Someone with the guts to tell Parliament they’re useless! Just like he told the police!”
Whether Cameron’s transition into politics will actually achieve anything, or simply provide him with a larger platform to yell from, remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure: South Africa’s politicians now have a brand-new scapegoat to add to their already extensive list.
Disclaimer: Some of the insights in this article may or may not have been generously contributed by a politically-savvy Cape Town bergie.