Serious news, unseriously delivered.
EASTERN CAPE – In a bold new policy announcement, the Democratic Alliance (DA) unveiled its plan to tackle childhood hunger in the Eastern Cape: The “Breadwinner Boot Camp” program. “We understand the people of the Eastern Cape are tired of empty promises,” declared DA leader John Steenhuisen. “That’s why we’re offering a real solution: training […]
KIMBERLEY – In a whimsical twist, the Democratic Alliance (DA) in the Northern Cape has decided to take a page from the Teletubbies’ playbook, donning their party colour blue for a march to address the ongoing water crisis in Kimberley. When all else fails, why not let politicians embrace their inner tubby custard lovers? Scheduled […]
In a stunning display of brevity that left even the most concise wordsmiths in awe, the Democratic Alliance (DA) bid farewell to former Member of the Western Cape Provincial Parliament, Dan Plato. In a carefully crafted trilogy of sentences, the DA managed to encapsulate the entirety of Plato’s political legacy, leaving citizens wondering if verbosity […]
In a bold move aimed at expanding their international influence, the Democratic Alliance (DA) has hired a high-priced U.S. consulting firm to promote their interests across the pond. At the cost of a whopping R300,000 per month, the party is sparing no expense in ensuring Americans are well-versed in their policies, values, and the fact […]
NORTHERN CAPE – In a dazzling display of digital democracy, the Democratic Alliance (DA) has once again proven that they’re the true custodians of free speech by promptly removing a citizen and the media from municipal WhatsApp groups for the heinous crime of desiring unbiased news coverage. The saga unfolded when a DA ward councillor […]